Tramcar 41

Ah, the final lyrical piece has arrived this morning and the secret of the song is suddenly revealed.


Where are they going,
where were they from,

passengers electrified
on tramcar 41?

How to punctuate these lines causes me a bit of a dilemma - the above version makes the most grammatical sense - but the below makes more song sense:-


Where are they going,
where were they from?

Passengers electrified
on tramcar 41.

Anyone got any thoughts on punctuation when writing out lyrics as opposed to poetry?

Number 41

I missed a rehearsal with Andy Gordon on Thursday due to a last-minute change of plan, but luckily I managed to use the time to write the ghosty song about subterranean London I had been promising to make for some weeks. I haven't finished it but the main verse and chorus and hook are established, as are the narrative voice and set up. It's very atmospheric and should work very well for us. Here's the first verse and chorus:

Number 41

Peer through the railings
At a strip of cobbles
Leading into the dark
Of a square mouthed tunnel

Can you see, can you hear
Can you feel it come?

Electrified along the track
The number 41

There is, of course, no such vehicle as the number 41, this number popped into my head from the internal incubator where songs are bred. The story is inspired by the old tram underpass at Holborn. The tunnel entrance still exists but the tram system was disbanded in the 1950s. Apparently the last train left Kingsway tunnel on 5 July 1952.

Here's the link which tells about the Kingsway tram underpass: http://underground-history.co.uk/kwupass.php