Jazzy song

Crikey it's all getting very jazzy and lovey.

Just recorded my first demo of this song. Chords Cmin7 / Fmin7 / Bflatmaj7
maybe I'll try and put another chord sequence in tomorrow when I'm more used to the basic sequence. I seem to have moved away from writing 'proper' melodies in favour of noodling at the moment. Maybe I'll get back to 'proper songs' one day. I've been working this out on the piano but I hope to transfer it to the Microkorg.

Because I Loved You

Because I loved you
Because I loved you
Because I loved you
I fell into the night

And I couldn't stop falling
And I couldn't stop falling
And I couldn't stop falling
For there were no sides

And I passed the world on my way down
As I fell like a swan
And the air whistled up past my face
And there was no end

yet the patients waved
from their hospital dream
arms tubed to drips
prepared for their operations

And the doctors smiled
As they filled in charts
they hooked with care
to the base of their beds

I saw the plough with its yoke
abandoned in the heavens
the rovers and the golfs
parked badly on the kerb

The instruments, guitars and piano
idle in the bedroom studios
the granite and melanine
kitchens, gleaming, unused

How long will this take me
Will it ever stop
Is there no bottom
Is there no depth

To which I can not fall
Into my love
Or will it take forever
to reach I don't know where

Tramcar 41

Ah, the final lyrical piece has arrived this morning and the secret of the song is suddenly revealed.


Where are they going,
where were they from,

passengers electrified
on tramcar 41?

How to punctuate these lines causes me a bit of a dilemma - the above version makes the most grammatical sense - but the below makes more song sense:-


Where are they going,
where were they from?

Passengers electrified
on tramcar 41.

Anyone got any thoughts on punctuation when writing out lyrics as opposed to poetry?